#humor

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey." "Karl, we're not fourteen!" "Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey." (Karl & Elena) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

Crew up, Nailer!" Lucky Girl shouted. "You think I'm going to pull your ass up here like a damn swank? ↗

— Paolo Bacigalupi

#jump #pull #rich #swank #humor

She wasn't sure she WANTED to live happily ever after. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Good luck is just bad luck with its hair combed. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #humor

Jane: "Missy was not so subtly reminding me that she had done something nice for me and here i was being rude when all she was asking me to do was attend a nice party. This was the way southern women worked all peaches & cream laced with arsenic. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humorous #jane #vampire #humor

For those who like that sort of thing," said Miss Brodie in her best Edinburgh voice, "That is the sort of thing they like. ↗

— Muriel Spark

#truth #humor

It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of unnecessary gray goo if its only real purpose was, for example, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

If I were illiterate, my signature would be audible. It’d be two grunts and a sigh. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#illiterate #signature #humor

I was never going to get any sleep. I was going to have Alice in Wonderland conversation after Alice in Wonderland conversation until I died of exhaustion. Here, in the restful, idyllic Victorian era. ↗

— Connie Willis

#humor #victorian-era #humor

There was a sudden commotion in front of us. The Seelie had just sifted in, minus V'Lane, in close proximity to Ryodan, Lor, and Fade. I wasn't sure who was more disgusted. Or homicidal. Velvet hissed. "You have no right to be here!" "Kill it." Ryodan said flatly. "Don't you dare!" I heard Jo snap. "Fucking faeries," Lor muttered. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor