#humor

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

Oh, drop the act, Tinkerbell, and get rid of my problem. Then we’ll talk. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor

Jacob: I've never seen so much manure. Wade: Baggage stock horses. They pack'em in 27 a car. Jacob: how do you stand the smell? Wade: what smell? ↗

— Sara Gruen

#life #humor

So you questioned him?" Raisa prompted. "What did he say for himself?" "Well, the first thing Gillen does is steal his purse and beat him with a club." Amon said. ↗

— Cinda Williams Chima

#club #humor #question #humor

Keeping that man out of trouble was like trying to return a whore to chastity. ↗

— Lydia Dare

#humor

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. ↗

— Dave Barry

#heath #humor #humor

I would argue that coffee has been far more important to literature than alcohol. ↗

— Joseph Finder

#humor

I have seen what comes of being patient," Amanda said with a boding look. "And I have no opinion of it." "What does come of it?" Inquired Sir Gareth. "Nothing! ↗

— Georgette Heyer

#patience #humor

How did you know about my candy stash?” Vincent innocently shrugged. “I needed tape and stumbled across your Willy Wonka drawer ↗

— Victoria Michaels

#humor

There you are!” he shouted at them. “Father has half the castle turned out looking for you.” “Us?” Hadrian asked. “Yes.” Fanen nodded. “He wants to see the two thieves in his chambers right away.” “You didn’t steal the silver or anything, did you, Royce?” Hadrian asked. “I would bet it has more to do with your flirting with Lenare this afternoon and threatening Mauvin just to show off,” Royce retorted. “That was your fault,” Hadrian said, jabbing his finger at him. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor