#humor

She gave him a cool glance over her shoulder. "May your balls wither away and you develope an allergy to Viagra and all its counterparts." He looked at her, stunned. And then he suddenly exploded into laughter. "God, you're a formidable woman" "No, I'm not. I'm soft, remember?" She slammed the door behind her. ↗

— Iris Johansen

#dreams

We considered behaving, but it's against our nature. ↗

— O.R. Melling

#disobedience #humor #dreams

Toothpaste pie is no substitute for swishing around minty-fresh love in your mouth and then rinsing out with cold, refreshing reality. But don’t take my word for it, because I’m not a dentist. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

In the throes of passion, I threw out an I love you. Did I mean it? Does a dictionary mean what it says? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa. ↗

— James Thurber

#age

I live for the moment and love for eternity. I mean I’d like to, but I’m too impatient for either. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #funny #humor #love #surrealism

Love is, or you isn’t. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

Woman, I could drown in your love, but I’d much rather be strangled. More passionate, don’t you agree? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age