#humor

How do you kill something that's already dead? Nobody knows enough about them. Ask Jason. He'll have an opinion. Wait a moment. Rachel could see Corinne talking to Jason, but they were too far ahead to hear. He says you chop them up into little pieces. But what if that infects you with the disease? Jason leaned closer to answer Corinne quietly. She laughed. You let Nollin do it. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

Stalking the Angel [Joe]"I could off anybody in this place five times over." [Elvis]"Could you off someone and get away with you here?" [Joe]Head shake. "I'm too good even for me. ↗

— Robert Crais

#humor

When you are tired of life, come to Haven. And someone will kill you. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#humor

I learned early and at that kitchen table that there are ways of avoiding, without guilt, the commitments of love. ↗

— P.D. James

#humor #humour #love #theo #humor

go home, riley. rest and recover from your wounds. i'll see you in the morning" quinn said no, you won't ####### see me in the morning. or any other morning. riley" #### off ↗

— Keri Arthur

#humor

A girl got a nosebleed, so I gave her a tampon and warned her about the responsibilities of womanhood. “You’re going to get a lot of guys trying to stick things up there,” I said. Now she’s a mouth breather. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #menstrual-cycles #nosebleeds #womanhood #funny

We're going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#humor #humor

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think. ↗

— Edgar Johnson

#satire #thinking #humor

When he overheard the boys whispering that he was a queer, he said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world’s great men had been homosexual. Alas, I’ve been sentenced to a life mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope that a few of you will be more fortunate. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#inspirational #humor

Out here, it's better safe than sorry, because generally speaking, too much of the time sorry means you're dead. ↗

— Patricia C. Wrede

#humor #proverbs #safe #sorry #humor