#humor

I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #humor

When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman. ↗

— P.B. Kerr

#men #women #humor

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#selfishness #humor

We'd spent maybe ten minutes together, during which time I'd accidentally swung a sword at her, she'd saved my life, and I'd run away chased by a band of supernatural killing machines. You know, your typical chance meeting. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Ghost Whisperer Junior. Or Ghost Screamer, more like it. Tune in, every week, as Chloe Saunders runs screaming from yet another ghost looking for her help." Okay, superpower might be pushing it. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #powers #humor

Exactly!" said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #life #meaning #question #humor

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #isi #sarcasm #humor

Why are you limping like that?' Nicholas demanded. I'm swaggering,' I informed him. You look like you're wearing a diaper.' Charming. And I had a crush on this guy. Wait. I had a crush on this guy? Now what?' he asked. 'You're making weird faces.' Nothing,' I said quickly. "Never mind. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#crush #hearts-at-stake #humor #humor

Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?" How did you...?" Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. ↗

— A. Whitney Brown

#humor