#humor

I shake his hand, and feel the jolt of electricity again from him. He laughs and raises his hand to show me the joy-buzzer in his palm. ↗

— Andrew Shaffer

#parody #humor

What happens next?" she whispered. Connor turned to her and smiled faintly. Always a question, that was Rebecca. There's more?" he said in mock wonderment Rebecca dimpled. You know very well there is more." Tell me all about it," he encouraged. In Papa's book—" Tell me all about it without mentioning your papa. ↗

— Julie Anne Long

#romance #humor

Okay, Jen, he could fuck you with that voice alone and you’re Squeaky McSqueakerson? Let’s try for a little more on the sexy purr side, please ↗

— Katie Allen

#humor

I have no will of my own. Never did. Limp and lily-livered, I always obey - is it possible that's attractive to women? ↗

— Anton Chekhov

#humor #seagull #women #humor

What difference does it makehow old I am when I shall never grow any bigger? ↗

— Miss Piggle Wiggle

#humor #miss-piggle-wiggle #myself #truth #humor

You must feed them, Anne, else they eat their toys. ↗

— Susan Kaye

#humor #humor

Then they took us to the birthing suite, which I call the electronic bullshit room because it's full of all sorts of electronic bullshit we can't fathom but are just glad to have on principle. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#pregnancy #humor

Never mind, never mind, let's get to the part where we smite the unrighteous. I've brought my most alarming teeth! ↗

— Nick Harkaway

#smite #teeth #humor

Hiking with your feelings exposed to the sun might give you heartburn. And even if you protect yourself by going on midnight strolls, you could trip over your high expectations in the dark. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #heartburn #hiking #humor #walking

Sam LeClaire was a good-looking son of a bitch. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#opening-sentence #humor