#humor

Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees. ↗

— Nelson DeMille

#men #men-and-women #mental-illness #relationships #women

Don't worry, Beth; there's nothing I love more than a challenge. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#xavier-woods #humor

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. ↗

— Quentin Crisp

#inspirational #self-discovery #humor

We'd better get. But y'all have a nice night," I say. Apparently, fear turns me Texan. A startling personality insight that I'll jot down later if I'm not dead in a ditch. ↗

— A.M. Robinson

#vampire #young-adult #humor

Picnics are very dear to those who are in the first stage of the tender passion. ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#life #passion #romance #humor

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#science #humor

Jane's stories are too sensible. Then Diana puts too much murders into hers. She says most of the time she doesn't know what to do with the people so she kills the off to get rid of them." -Anne Shirley ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#friends #humor #reading #humor

I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

Close your eyes, and think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you. ↗

— Morrissey

#love #lyrics #music #humor

Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#sports #humor