#humor

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. ↗

— Bil Keane

#entertainment #family #frontier #good #humor

I love Sell Out, I think it's great. I love the jingles. The whole thing as an album is a wonderful piece of work. The cover. Everything about it. It's got humor, great songs, irony. ↗

— Roger Daltrey

#album #cover #everything #got #great

No," I replied testily. "I'm pretty sure 'digital' is Latin for 'fingeral,' so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic anatomy, Dr. Roland." The Dr. Roland told me that he thought I was overreacting, and the "fingeral" wasn't even a real word. Then I told him that I though he was underreacting, probably because he's embarrassed that he doesn't know how Latin works. Then he claimed that "underrecating" isn't a word either. The man has a terrible bedside manner. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#grammar-humor #humor #language #equality

Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information. I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand. Good Heavens! Is marriage so demoralizing as that? I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#marriage #experience

Dear God," said Nudge under her breath, "I want real parents. But I want them to want me too. I want them to love me. I already love them. Please see what you can do. Thanks very much. Love, Nudge." Okay, so I'm not saying we were pros at this or anything. (Max thoughts) ↗

— James Patterson

#desire #funny #god #humor #learning

Scientists used to do an experiment whereby a dog’s repeated reward for performing a task was unaccountably replaced by punishment. The dog, knowing it would be penalized for doing well or doing badly, would become melancholic and inactive. This and other unforeseeable results were funded by taxing up to sixty percent of people’s earnings. People became strangely melancholic and inactive ↗

— Steve Aylett

#inspiration #lesson #life #love #experience

Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring your drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues. ↗

— Steve Maraboli

#humor #inspirational #issues #let-go #life

My teeth are covered in plaque from nibbling on experience. But in the backroom of the strip club, the ladies don’t kiss me. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #experience

Walking was a habit he'd been unwilling to give up. He couldn't see the point in shutting himself up in a vehivle any more often than he had to, doing damage to the earth and the air in order to avoid using his body. People did just that all the time, though. Most claimed they needed to save time. It was true they had little enough of that-- their lives were so soon ended. But Nathan didn't see them treating time as precious otherwise. They'd sit in their cars at a fast-food place for fifteen minutes when it would be quicker to park and go inside. No, he blamed the modern culture of urgency. Only the most urgent sensations, emotions, and situations were considered important. They called it living life to the fullest. Not surprisingly, many sought numbness in alcohol or the pervasive voyeurism of reality TV while others tried to live a perpetual peak experience through drugs, sex, or celebrity. Ordinary lives, ordinary living had little value. Nathan thought people needed to wash dishes by hand sometimes. Prepare their own meals more often. And take walks. ↗

— Eileen Wilks

#inspirational #life #urgency #experience

Got any mood music?” “If you press Play on the stereo you’re going to hear Miley Cyrus.” “I don’t know who that is.” “Count your blessings. ↗

— Tere Michaels

#parenting-humor #faith