#humor

I want to be the first and second man to dance on the moon. No, I won’t moonwalk. But I will Cha Cha—with my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dancing #funny #humor #moon #change

If my remote control doubled as a dildo, I'd never get off my ass to change the channel. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #lazy #naughty #change

Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change? ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#mothers #change

Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original." Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #change

If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment," Murphy interrupted, "I will break your arm in eleven places. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #change

the chocolate raisins tasted somewhat fishy, but Lucy didn't care-chocolate was chocolate. She changed her mind however, when she realized that the raisins were tiny fish heads. ↗

— Angie Sage

#change

Pansy," Murphy sneered. Thomas leered at her. "You make my stamen tingle when you talk like that, Sergeant. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#karrin-murphy #thomas-raith #change

Slender Youth. A tour companion who may be either a lost prince or a girl/princess in disguise. In the latter case it is tactful to pretend you think she is a boy. She/he will be ignorant, hasty and shy, and will need hauling out of trouble quite a lot. But she/he will grow up in the course of the Tour. In fact she/he will be the only Companion who will change in any way. Quite often, she/he will soon exhibit a very useful talent for magic and end up by hauling everyone else out of trouble. But this will not be until midway through your second brochure. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#fantasy #humor #change

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ↗

— Robert C. Gallagher

#common-man-s-plight #humor #change

The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #change