#humor

I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#best #funny #humor #relationships #wonder

I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet." At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?" "I just know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #funny

To Do Today, 1/17/08 1. Sit and think 2. Reach enlightenment 3. Feed the cats ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#enlightenment #funny #humor #think #to-do-list

Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run. No! If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers. ↗

— Moira Young

#funny #humor #moira-young #rule #funny

Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny. ↗

— Bruce Springsteen

#funny

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. ↗

— Irvin S. Cobb

#head #merely #pants #standing #torn

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #random #the-maze-runner #funny

What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize. ↗