#humor

My dogs can't do anything--and what a relief. I don't make any demands of them, and I don't try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves. I always look forward to seeing them, and I love just watching them sleep. What a great relationship. ↗

— Amy Chua

#humor

mr youse needn't be so spry concernin questions arty each has his tastes but as for i i likes a certain party gimme the he-man's solid bliss for youse ideas i'll match youse a pretty girl who naked is is worth a million statues ↗

— E.E. Cummings

#sex #humor

I started to speak to him in his native tongue, "why would you want to sit with me?" He pressed his lips together, and his eyebrows screwed up. He ran a hand through his spiky black hair. "I don' speak Japanese," He said in English. "But My parents do." "Strange," I said. "A Japanese boy who only speaks English? ↗

— Rebecca Maizel

#humor

If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#darcy #humorous #lizzie #humor

I'm a pessimistic person, I see the glass half empty even when it's full. ↗

— Nigahiga

#humor #niga #nigahiga #ryan #humor

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

From where I’m sitting, I AM the centre of the Universe! ↗