#humor

And I like his conceit. He's so conceited he's actually humble, the crazy bastard. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#humor

- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

Sir if I was your daughter I would wait until this train started again and throw myself in front of it! ↗

— Kirby Larson

#humor

Why not? It's true. I don't even laugh for anyone but you." She hesitated, for that one. Did he really mean that? Surely not. "Tim seems like a really funny guy." She tried, but all it did was make his mouth form that mean line. "Tim pees in the kitchen sink." "Well, okay. I could atleast promise not to do that, but even so- ↗

— Charlotte Stein

#funny

Don't pick up hitchhikers!"- D. Adams ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#science-fiction #humor

I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat, or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: ‘Oh! the verse of a Psalm! angels sing Psalms,’ says he; ‘I wish to be a little angel here below;’ he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#humor

For better or for worse, but not for lunch,... ↗

— Abigail Thomas

#marriage #relationships #humor

Talk Back? That's really what it's called? You're supposed to walk into some church basement and say, 'I'm here to learn how to Talk Back'? ↗

— Catherine Gilbert Murdock

#humor

Has she glanced you way yet?" Twice," Nick said on a note of satisfaction. Meaning?" Nick glanced at him. "She's not completely disinterested." I see Moreland. That makes it an even half dozen hanging out for a rich wife. Four looking for their second. Rossman, the old satyr, certainly isn't likely to be much competition. What in the hell does he think he's doing anyway? He must be sixty." Basking, I should think. She hasn't given him the cold shoulder yet," Nick responded coolly. ↗

— Jaide Fox

#courting #humor #romance #humor