#humor

Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #death

So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —” “Don’t talk to your mother like that. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #death

Did you hear that? I'm special. ↗

— Ally Carter

#zach-goode #humor

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies ↗

— Rick Riordan

#death #delaying #humor #leo #the-mark-of-athena

So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you're saying? ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #sanya #death

All those adorable towheaded kids in the promotional film are going to turn thirteen. Once a family member hits puberty, odds are that everybody is not going to have the same ideals. Unless everybody gets together and agrees that the new ideals involve turning the front yard into a skate ramp and officially changing Dad's name to Fuckhead. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#florida #humor #parenting #change

Don't forget to give Neville our love!' Ginny told James as she hugged him. 'Mum! I can't give a professor love!' 'But you know Neville-' James rolled his eyes. 'Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love.... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#deathly-hallows #epilogue #harry-potter #hogwarts #humor

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #death

How in the name of Merlin's pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #death

Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #death