#humor

I am the burrito wrapped up in a blanket. Eat my warmth.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’ve got you covered. Just don’t hog all the blanket.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I glance down his body. He's still wearing his shorts and his shirt, and I still have my T-shirt on. Jeez-- talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia-steele #christian-grey #e-l-james #fifty-shades #fifty-shades-freed

I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #blush #communist-manifesto #e-l-james

A brick could be used to wash your hands. And after that, I’d suggest you wash out your filthy mouth. Scrub it clean, you scatological talker you.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Fake vitamin pills. Placebos. I sell them, because I sell hope.
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— Jarod Kintz

#hope #humor #placebo #sale #salesman

A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore, a lie could be used to detect a lie, and all this logic makes me want to grab a blanket and lie down—and that’s the truth. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can't tell you. What part about secret don't you understand?
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a brick levitate? 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny