#humor

I started to speak to him in his native tongue, "why would you want to sit with me?" He pressed his lips together, and his eyebrows screwed up. He ran a hand through his spiky black hair. "I don' speak Japanese," He said in English. "But My parents do." "Strange," I said. "A Japanese boy who only speaks English? ↗

— Rebecca Maizel

#humor

If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#darcy #humorous #lizzie #humor

I'm a pessimistic person, I see the glass half empty even when it's full. ↗

— Nigahiga

#humor #niga #nigahiga #ryan #humor

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

From where I’m sitting, I AM the centre of the Universe! ↗

— Sebastyne Young

#narcissism #self-centered #humor

I'm staying," Henry said, annoyed. "Why?" "Because, if I leave, it would be like abandoning two mentally challenged people in a nuclear waste dump. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind ↗

— Scott Lynch

#humor

He has artistry," he repeated. "Because that's what it takes to blow things up. And cook his arm. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor #tamora-pierce #humor

seaweed brain ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. ↗

— Robert Orben

#humor