#humor

Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint ↗

— Brent Weeks

#fantasy #humor

Don't be logical. You know I hate that. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#humor

So I know you must have a plan and this wolf—" "Beast," Min said. "—frog, whatever, can't fit your plan." "He's not a frog," Min said. "I kissed him and he did not turn into a prince."He turned into a god. No, he didn't . "Look, I'm never going to see him again, so everybody can relax. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor

Cathy, this lamb of yours threatens like a bull!' he said. 'It is in danger of splitting its skull against my knuckles. By God! Mr. Linton, I'm mortally sorry that you are not worth knocking down! ↗

— Emily Brontë

#humor

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#crime #humor #immigration #politics #punishment

You shouldn't let him hit you so much" observed saphira "Yes I realize that'" he growled. "Do you want me to knock him over for you?" "No...not today. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor

But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in the Church they don't think. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humorous #beauty

I’ll not only win glory in a castrated bullfighting tournament, I can make a profit by selling rocky mountain oysters, too. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #funny

The thin girl was gulping down one of Richard's bananas in what was, Richard reflected, the least erotic display of banana-eating he had ever seen. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#science-fiction #humor

I have never been reduced to begging somebody to leave me alone, but in your case I’ll make an exception. ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult-fiction #humor