#humor

Luce blushed. "Then what kind of angel are you?" "I'm sort of in between gigs right now," Daniel said. ↗

— Lauren Kate

#humor #humor

Never ask an elf for help; they might decide your better off dead, eh?" (Orik) (Eldest) (Page 207) ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor #ironic #random #humor

History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #humor

I possess everyone who sleeps in the motor court, roam their memories, and embed recurrent nightmares that will destroy their sleep for weeks after I’ve departed them.” “I’d prefer a free continental breakfast. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#lol #lol

Cazadores de Sombras: se les ve mejor el negro que a las viudas de sus enemigos dede 1234. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-wayland #lol #lol

You can knock on a deaf man's door forever. ↗

— Nikos Kazantzakis

#humor

Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier." Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #sydney-sage #humor

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense ↗

— Chris Rock

#women #humor

You know, I can see more than just the future or the past." "Really?" I asked, paging through through the papers in the file. "Can you also see the present? Because I can do that, too. Like, right now, I sense that I'm in a messy room with a total toolbox. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #rachel-hawkins #sophie #spell-bound #torin

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor