#humor

Sometimes I think if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I'd choose the corn. ↗

— Sara Gruen

#humor

All writers should be put in a box and thrown in the sea. ↗

— Gordon B. Hinckley

#writers #writing #humor

And spare me the jokes about scoring." "Dammit, woman, you read my mind," he said. "Is there no filthy wordplay you can't forsee?" "It's my special magical power. I can read your mind when you're thinking dirty thoughts." "So, ninety-five percent of the time. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-lightwood #humor

I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them. ↗

— Aleister Crowley

#humour #humor

He was dressed just like on TV, with lots of silver chains and bracelets, ripped jeans, and a black muscle shirt (Which was kind of stupid, since he didn't have any muscles). ↗

— Rick Riordan

#muscle-shirt #stupid #humor

Never underestimate yourself ↗

— Carolyn Mackler

#self-esteem #humor

You have to watch your language. People will think you have no fucking class ↗

— Lani Diane Rich

#language #misc #humor

Daemon always looks hot!!! Stretching into the aisle, I went to drop the note back on Carissa’s desk. Before it could leave my fingertips, it was snatched from my hand. Son of a donkey butt! My mouth dropped open and my cheeks burned. Twisting around in my seat, I glared at Daemon. He held the note close to his chest and grinned. “Passing notes is bad,” he murmured. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#onyx #humor

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #fat #humor #jace #mortal-instruments

Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves. “Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?” “No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!” “But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor