#humor

I'm fresh out of fucks to give. ↗

— Tucker Max

#rejection #sex #humor

I'd never been a good damsel in distress. I was a "hands-on" damsel. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#humor #strength #strong #woman #women

How do I define history? It's just one fucking thing after another" - Rudge ↗

— Alan Bennett

#humor #humor

Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?' 'He is making a joke, no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes. ↗

— John Flanagan

#jokes #ranger-s-apprentice #humor

I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #humor

You thought I was a werewolf?" Dervish asks. "Yes" I answer hollowly. "You ass. ↗

— Darren Shan

#humor

The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't. ↗

— John Green

#looking-for-alaska #humor

The only vampires I've ever seen are the Goths trying to get a glimpse of Anne Rice's house, who drink strawberry sodas and tell each other it's blood. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#nick-gautier #humor

What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humor

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure I'll hold out until Halloween." "That's already passed." "Exactly," I muttered ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor