#humor

When you get crapped on, grow a garden. ↗

— Tanja Kobasic

#inspirational-success-failure #positivity #inspirational

Pugs Not Drugs ↗

— Gemma Correll

#humor #inspirational #inspirational

(Via Malcolm)"...For the moment, I have this incredible gift...It just happened. I bend, whisper, sing, shout—and a radiant light surrounds and then emanates from people. ↗

— Kathleen Maher

#inspirational #reluctant #inspirational

It is a State of Mind... and am the president ↗

— ken carlson N

#inspirational #mind-power #inspirational

Give me chastity and constancy, but not yet." St. Augustine. "Amen" Odette ↗

— Marie Clair

#inspirational

The great thing about writing fiction is that you can do whatever the fuck you want, go as far as you are willing to go, and laugh at the people who take it seriously. ↗

— Christian Marotti

#dark #fiction #funny #humor #inspirational

Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor #parties #prom #school #sex

The nerve liberal women today have, to take such an important educational tool as slapping men in the face and treat it like a common method of debate! Slaps in the face have become nothing more than idiomatic sophisms. They signify the relativism of values that infects our age. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #relativism #slapping #age

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998) ↗

— Henny Youngman

#life-lessons #humor

I HAVE A HEARTBURN AND DIAHREA AT THE MOMENT--LIFE'S ABITCH. CHAT LATER? [signed] SORE TUSH ↗

— Mitch Albom

#humor