#humor

The difference between me and a scientist is a little word called “Science.” I don’t believe in it. Science has yet to validate my disbelief in Bigfoot. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #science #change

Leadership is being the first egg in the omelet. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #leadership #omelet #change

Last night the secrets of the universe were revealed to me, and they had nipples. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#nipples #secrets #universe #change

She did not especially appreciate children either, but could be kind to them when they were silent. ↗

— Gordon Dahlquist

#humor #change

In all honesty, men changed a few rules when they became what was referred to as househusbands. Bill didn't make beds, cook, dust, do laundry, windows or floors, or give birth. What he did do was pay bills, call people to fix the plumbing, handle the investments and taxes, volunteer big time, take papers to the garage, change license plates, get the cars serviced, and pick up the cleaning. If women had had that kind of schedule, who knows, we'd probably still be in the home. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#change

We didn’t like each other when you were alive,” I muttered to my father. “You think living in my head is going to change that? ↗

— Devon Monk

#change

Definitions, her grandmother once said, had to be like a fat man's belt - big enough to cover the subject but elastic enough to allow for change. The Sunborn ↗

— Gregory Benford

#change

A mere redrawing of borders, a change in governments, those things can never faze a Jewess with a good supply of hand wipes in her bag. ↗

— Michael Chabon

#insightful #change

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#crazy #desire #funny #humor #husband

You have to give an editor something to change, or he gets frustrated. After he pees in it himself, he likes the flavor much better, so he buys it. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor #change