#humor

I don't care who her mother is," Magnus said. "You can't see me with out an appointment. Come back later. Next March would be good," "March?" Sebastian looked horrified. "You're right," Magnus said, "Too rainy. How about June? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

In a very little time they got to the corner of the field by the side of the pine wood where Eeyore's house wasn't any longer. 'There!' said Eeyore. 'Not a stick of it left! Of course, I've still got all this snow to do what I like with. One mustn't complain. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#humor

Bomb', Reyes said, not bothering to look up. 'One of ours?' Maddox insisted... 'Hardly. I know better than to blow myself up,' Reyes sighed. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#reyes #humor

Curran roared. The blast of noise erupting from his mouth was like thunder. I clenched up, fighting the urge to step back. “Yes I can,” he snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Excruciating agony makes me cranky. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#pain #humor

You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#maps #humor

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#humor

Finding a life partner is like choosing a bed. You need one as a friend either in times of health or sickness. Freshness or weariness. Happiness or sadness. And we can be certain that we've picked the right one without having to sleep with it first. ↗

— Isman H. Suryaman

#marriage #humor

We seemed to be trapped in an episode of One Life To Waste. It's all very dull. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane #humor

Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them" He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess." "Does Fang have an off switch?" Talon asked Vane. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#night-embrace #talon #humor