#humor

A corner of his mouth quirked up. “I play pool. Shoot hoops sometimes too. Any other sport you’re curious about?” “Hockey? Polo?” “Simultaneously. Trick is to keep the horses on their skates. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

Keep digging, Flynn. Six feet makes a grave. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

Handles. That’s all he could think when he saw them. The woman had braided handles into her hair, just begging a man to grab them and guide her head where he wanted it to go. Surely she had to realize that. ↗

— Shannon K. Butcher

#humor

Truth is a troublesome motherfucker unless it's handled properly ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#sad-but-true #humor

Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "do you find me fascinating to be around?" "What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, i think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Do you know what constitutes a great poet? He is a person without shame, incapable of blushing. Ordinary fools have moments when they go off by themselves and blush with shame; not so the great poet.... If you really have to quote someone, quote a geographer; that way you won't give yourself away. (p 44) ↗

— Knut Hamsun

#humor

You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up. ↗

— Lish McBride

#sarcasm #sex #smooth #humor

Hey, this is terrific!" he said. "Someone down there is trying to kill us!" "Terrific," said Arthur. "But don't you see what this means?" "Yes. We are going to die." "Yes, but apart from that." "Apart from that?!" "It means we must be on to something!" "How soon can we get off it? ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor

Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#holidays #humor #poison #humor

Is that the only way?" Tom asked her. "Vik and I tried net-sending with a thought interface during Programming once, but I couldn't concentrate on just one thing at a time." Vik nodded. "His programming questions were always like, 'Vik, how do steak boobs function? ↗

— S.J. Kincaid

#humor