#humor

I can't stop thinking about how much better she'd be for him than I am. But I also kind of want to tear her hair out. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#humor #humor

I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

That scent she threw off was not anything by Chanel. Unless they’d recently added a Tragedy line. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #humor

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #threats #what-the-hell #humor

Sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree O woe is me, O woe is me, I used to have a hamster tree, But it was eaten by a newt, And now I have no cuddly fruit, O woe is me, O woe is me, I used to have a hamster tree! ↗

— Clive Barker

#lyrical #humor

I’ve seen your foot up close.” Curran pointed to his chest. “I’ve seen it here.” He moved his hand to his jaw. “Here.” He touched the place over his cheek where my kick had cut him. “And here. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

I'm your mother. I see all. Hear all. Know all. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#humor

Cat, hmmm? From where I sit you look more like a Kitten." My head jerked around and I shot him an annoyed look. Oh, I was going to enjoy this, all right. "It's Cat," I repeated firmly. "Cat Raven." "Whatever you say, Kitten Tweedy. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat-crawfield #catherine-crawfield #funny #halfway-to-the-grave #humor

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#jordan #religion #humor