#humor

Beans are a warm cloak against economic cold. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#humor #food

Preparing the communal evening meal sometimes caused arguments. Every village in Sicily had a different recipe for squid and eels, disagreed on what herbs should be disbarred from the tomato sauce. And whether sausages should ever be baked. ↗

— Mario Puzo

#humor #food

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

I was once attacked by a Federal park. But due to governmental inefficiencies, I had to report it to highway patrol.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #government #humor #inefficient #food

Never start a fight with your hands in your pockets. Unless you’re instigating with an armless man.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fight #funny #humor #instigate #food

Holy effing moly. ↗

— Ellen Hopkins

#humor

Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people? ↗

— Mari Donne

#food

Life sure is easier when you're rich." "And a natural born charmer. Don't forget that part." "How could I?" she retorted. "It's the only thing we have in common. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #natural-born-charmer #romance #susan-elizabeth-phillips #humor