#humor

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House-- with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. ↗

— John F. Kennedy

#nobel-prize #white-house #humor

If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here. ↗

— Garrison Keillor

#humor

If she does have a failing, and it's obviously only a tiny one, it's that she doesn't seem particularly curious about other people, or me, anyway. ↗

— David Nicholls

#self-centered #humor

For me, that emotional payoff is what it’s all about. I want you to laugh or cry when you read a story...or do both at the same time. I want your heart, in other words. If you want to learn something, go to school. ↗

— Stephen King

#writing #humor

THE PRESOCRATIC PROBLEM [all snap flags] Parmenides named his gun The Hot Power of the Stars. His gun was one, uncreated, imperishable, timeless, changeless, perfect, spherical. Spherical was the problem. ↗

— Anne Carson

#philosophy #poetry #religion #humor

I believe it was Gayelord Hauser, the nutritionist, who said, 'You are what you eat,' but if you happen to be an intellectual, you are what you quote. ↗

— Joseph Epstein

#humor #quotatious #humor

It's a lady with a stick. Are we pirates or what?" They pondered this fact for a moment. "It's a big stick," observed one of his fellows. ↗

— Seán Cullen

#humor

As an Odd-Fish, it is not my job to be right,' said Sir Oort. 'It is my job to be wrong in new and exciting ways. ↗

— James Kennedy

#humor #inspirational #odd #success #humor

Reg: Speaking of blunt, dinner is on my bill tonight, mes amis. Alex: What's the occasion? Augustus: Lady Caroline's agreed to venture out on a picnic with out intrepid hero. Kit: I don't know why you keep insisting she's smitten with me. I've barely spoken five sentences to her. Augustus: It's very simple. Reg has thrown his entire being into pleasing Caroline. She knows every nuance of his thought and character. You, however, are a mystery to be explored, solved, and resolved. ↗

— Suzanne Enoch

#romance #humor

Why are you taking your breasts away?” -Dane “Cernunnos” Hearne ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#humor