#humor

So they wanted to take Tansy to a different doctor and her husband refused", Ryland said. "I wonder why he would do that." He frowned and leanede close to Kadan, sniffing. "Cinnamon?" "Shut the hell up", Kadan said and pushed past him. Ryland took another whiff and gave a low whistle."You smeel yummy. I'm getting hungry. Maybe cinnamon buns". Kadan flipped him off rudely. Nico stood waiting by the front door. As always he was their backup. He frowned when the two Ghostwalkers got close. "What the hell is that smell?" "Kadan's new spicy cologne". "Go to hell Rye", Kadan said ans shot him a look thaty should have withered him on the spot. "Both of you can go to hell". "I think his blood sugar's dropping", Ryland explained. "Must have been all the cinnamon candy he got tonight". ↗

— Christine Feehan

#humor #humor

Your temperature's normal, though I'd say it's the only thing about you that is. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#humor

Modern wife: A position thought to require great ambition to fill. After initially showing some skill at a maid service or department store, the husband takes her home to find that she has risen too high in the world to generalize that skill, which drives him to drink. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #marriage #wife #funny

Inside your soul is the ability to survive even the toughest storms, and that paradise can always be found--even in the middle of a hurricane--if you are willing to look. ↗

— Denise Hildreth Jones

#humor #love-and-romance #remarriage #humor

In his heart, she’d been smiling for him. But now she was smiling at Colin Bridgerton, he of the famous charm and sparkling green eyes. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #humor

You may stay. But Jessica, please watch what you say and do. Don't look them in the eyes for long. Speak only when spoken to. Yes, sir; yes, ma'am." "Sit up. Arf," I teased. "What about her?" Jessica cried, pointing in my general direction. "She's more in need of an etiquette lesson than I am." "Yeah," I said, "but I'm the Queen. With a capital fucking Q. Hey, you're looking me in the eyes for too long! Eric, make her stop! ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#humor #vampires #humor

Girls can do anything boys can do in high heels! ↗

— Brooke Sachau

#humor #women #women-s-strength #humor

I'm sorry, Mother. It's just that five days of flying with these characters has made me crawl right to the edge of sanity.' 'I fell over the edge.' Karen said. 'I jumped,' Walter added, 'And I can't seem to climb back up. ↗

— Bryan Davis

#humor

He stared down at the golden curls of the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. "You know," he concluded, after a while, "I think he actually looks like an Adam. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

DeAngelo blew up my bus, so I filled his car with shit. Genius, right?" "DeAngelo didn't blow up the bus," Connie said. "I just got the report from the fire marshal. The coffeemaker shorted out and started the fire." Some of the color left Vinnie's face. "Say what?" "Oh man," Lula said. "DeAngelo is gonna be pissed. Least he won't know who did it." "I left a note," Vinnie said. Lula gave a hoot of laughter and fell off her chair. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor