#humor

When the lake freezes, everything seems lifeless. ↗

— teana

#inspirational

Tomorrow was my second chance to make things right but it never came. I’m sorry I never treasured the time we had for those regrets I take the blame. You gave everything you had. I took without giving back.” Sed paused in his song, feeling ridiculous for singing it to her while they made love. “Baby, you realize this song is about Trey’s dead dog, don’t you? ↗

— Olivia Cunning

#sex #song #humor

Snoring keeps the monsters away. ↗

— Judy Blume

#snoring #humor

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chinese throwing stars get you a dozen stitches. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#twists #humor

You can run from the grave, but you can't hide. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#vampire #humor

Tut, Tut, looks like rain ↗

— A.A. Milne

#weather #humor

No soy pesimista. Soy un optimista bien informado. ↗

— Antonio Gala

#irony #pesimismo #humor

Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut." Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. "I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #nut #squid #humor

They swoon over Tom, who preens for them, bowing, which sets them to blushing and giggling. God help us all. ↗

— Libba Bray

#beauty

Excuse me, but where do you think you’re going?” I asked. “I figured I’d put my underwear in with yours. That way they could all get to know each other.” One brown eyebrow lifted. “Unless you want to make some formal introductions right now? ↗

— Michele Bardsley

#humor #inuendo #funny