#humor

She was foolish to think his attention rested on her. Who, knew, maybe he loved a good mullet and liked playing the back nine. It would be a damn shame, though. All the drool- worthy sensuality claimed by his own sex wouldn't be fair. ↗

— Eden Summers

#love

Leah" Olivia says quietly, "if you point at me again I'm going to break that manicured finger right off your hand. Now turn around and smile, your daughter is waking up. ↗

— Tarryn Fisher

#humorous #love

A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend saving your marriage in a Tupperware container. That way it’ll stay fresher for longer.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Good-looking people marry good-looking people and the others take what's left. ↗

— Alan Bennett

#marriage #marriage

Marriage is like super glue. It holds you together tight. Unfortunately- you're kinda stuck ↗

— Alina K.

#love #love

I just didn't car. I told you I don't like animals." She gave a snort, then settled back to silence. Cross another quality from her list. Earth Mother Sucked. ↗

— Jennifer Probst

#marriage

The youngest one,” she interrupted. “The youngest son, I mean. The one who is unmarried.” “I know who he is.” “Very well, then. What is wrong with him?” At that she cocked her head to the side and waited expectantly. He thought for a moment. “Nothing.” “You—wait.” She blinked. “Nothing?” He shook his head, then shifted his weight a little; his good foot was beginning to fall asleep. “Nothing comes immediately to mind.” It was true. She could do a good deal worse than Gregory Bridgerton. “Really?” she asked suspiciously. “You find nothing at all objectionable about him.” Marcus pretended to think about this a bit longer. Clearly he was supposed to be playing a role here, probably that of the villain. Or if not that, then the grumpy old man. “I suppose he’s a bit young,” he said. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #marriage #marriage

Me agarro el estómago de nuevo. —Me siento vacío... Me siento...muerto. Él asiente. —Matri...monio. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#marriage-humor #r #r-and-julie #zombies #zombies-life

Men are pigs, darling. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one of these arrogant, stupid morons to settle down with and marry. ↗

— Michael Winner

#humour #marriage #men-and-women #michael #stupidity

We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with stupid little arguments. Don't get me wrong; I liked J.Lo fine. I've made that bed. But I'm not sure there's a person in the world I could be with twenty-four hours a day for three weeks without getting a little snippy. If I ever meet such a person, I'm marrying them. ↗

— Adam Rex

#humor #ideal-partner #marriage #humor