#humor

Lord, I can’t live in his mashed potato world. I need my tubers scalloped and diced and baked and fried and different every time. I need excitement and change as much as I need air. ↗

— Lorna Seilstad

#change

Math. It’s your favorite subject. Which surprises you. Last year your teacher tried to convince you that you had a real “aptitude” for math, but all you got in the end was a B minus. The truth is you weren’t even trying. But then you got low Cs and Ds in all your other classes and you weren’t trying there, either, so maybe you are good at math after all. You like it because either you’re right or you’re wrong. Not like social studies and definitely not like English, where you always have to explain your answers and support your opinions. With math it’s right or it’s wrong and you’re done with it. But even that’s changing, my teacher said now you have to explain how you solved the problem and support your answer, saying that having the right answer isn’t as important as explaining how you got it and bam, just like that, you hate math. ↗

— Charles Benoit

#truth #change

Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. ↗

— Myrna Ericksen

#historical-romance #humor #inspirational #mystery-suspense #humor

I will tell you what we shall do: if ever you need to rescue Catherine, or you Berkley, Maximus, I will help you, and you will do as much for me. Then we do not need to worry, I do not suppose anyone could stop all three of us, at least not before we can escape ↗

— Naomi Novik

#help #humor #inspirational #rescue #temeraire

I want to show you something,” I say. What?” He dabs at his lips with the napkin, and for a moment I’m wishing so hard that I am that napkin that I can almost feel myself changing, becoming thin and papery and white. “Cal?” I sit back and feel myself blushing, feel it from the tips of my toes all the way to the heat at the backs of my ears. ↗

— Brad Barkley

#heather-hepler #humor #love #change

Library-denigrators, pay heed: suggesting that the Internet is a viable substitute for libraries is like saying porn could replace your wife. ↗

— Joanne Harris

#inspirational #libraries #library #humor

I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily - Michael Jackson ↗

— Michael Jackson

#humor

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe. ↗

— Keith Caserta

#inspirational #irony-of-life #worry #worrying #humor

Miss Austen’s novels … seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer … is marriageableness. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#jane-austen #relationships #marriage

Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again! ↗

— Diane Ackerman

#humor #humorous #love