Choose language

Forgot your password?

Need a Spoofbox account? Create one for FREE!

No subscription or hidden extras

Login

#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




When you really want something, when you lust, seek, desire, await, anticipate or expect, when you sit in front of the TV after the late news twirling a plastic spoon in a bowl of lukewarm skim milk and saturated puffs of Special K, praying for nine or so hours to pass so that you can check the morning mail to see if the college accepted, the one-night stand wrote, the tax refund arrived or Publisher's Clearing House made you the winner of a dream house in Wisconsin, when you're really looking forward to something, that's when Fortuna dispatches a couple of her handmaidens to drop a load of shit on you. ↗


— Martin Clark


#fatalism #truth #dreams

Guitar makes even have a word for these baby-boomers-who-alwyas-wanted-to-be-great-guitarists-and-now-have-the-money-to-indulge-those-dreams: dentists ↗


— Tim Brookes


#music #dreams

On behalf of all that is good and melodic, Ludwig van Beethoven, I apologize. ↗


— Sarah Strohmeyer


#music #dreams

Get out of bed and feed me already, person! ↗


— Rachel Cohn


#food #humor #food

Eragon looked back at him, confused. "I don't understand." "Of course you don't," said Brom impatiently. "That's why I'm teaching you and not the other way around. ↗


— Christopher Paolini


#humor #education

Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating. ↗


— Laurie Halse Anderson


#gym #humiliation #humor #p-e #physical-education

A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick the bull, trick a bear next, and then by that time all the investors will be playing your game, not even knowing that you are the Blanket Master that controls the world.
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#humor #naughty #pants #safe #safety

They might be kittens," she said hopefully. "They're stalking us." "They might be shy." "I don't think it's kittens, Valkyrie." "Puppies, then? ↗


— Derek Landy


#humor






back to top