#humor

Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it." "I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. "And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?" "Er..." Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape. "Er... roughly speaking, it means, 'We who are about to die don't want to', sir. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#cowardice #humor #parody #imagination

People who have babies tell me I will know a love that is beyond anything I can imagine, and a joy that is indescribable. Love and joy? That sounds horrifying. I have no way of knowing whether I can handle either of those. I'm much better with need and fear. They are what ground me. ↗

— Marc Maron

#fear #humor #parenting #imagination

Yes, I have tricks in my pocket, I have things up my sleeve. But I am the opposite of a stage magician. He gives you illusion that has the appearance of truth. I give you truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion. ↗

— Tennessee Williams

#inspirational #humor

You might not think a hippo could inspire terror. Screaming “Hippo!” doesn’t have the same impact as screaming “Shark!” But I’m telling you—as the Egyptian Queen careened to one side, its paddle wheel lifting completely out of the water, and I saw that monster emerge from the deep, I nearly discovered the hieroglyphs for accident in my pants. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#terror #humor

A women can run, hide, play and have fun but she will shine far better when she just smiles without none. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#inspirational #love #truth #humor

You can't believe that AIDS is a curse from God against Gays without accepting that Lyme Disease is a curse from the same God against Deer Hunters... ↗

— T. Rafael Cimino

#inspirational #obama #political #religeous #religion

... human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. ↗

— Justin Halpern

#inspiration #humor

I like stories about supervillains. They teach children that you can accomplish great things even when the whole world is against you. ↗

— G.D. Falksen

#humor #humorous #inspirational #pulp-fiction #steampunk

Most of us are not so strong. What is humor compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms? Or the memory of a brother's smile? Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory and our great tragedy. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#inspirational #love #humor

Those aren't from my mother's garden, are they? She'll throttle you." "No," he said, making a grand show of looking insulted. "I would never." "Sorry," she said with a cringe. "They're from your neighbor's garden, actually. ↗

— Olivia Parker

#inspirational #humor