#humor

Hale!' Kat cried, but the boy only stared at her. 'Fine,' she conceded. 'I love your boat.' 'Ship.' 'Ship ... Your ship is beautiful. ↗

— Ally Carter

#humor #uncommon #beauty

New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It’s not their field. It’s like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Here’s what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Here’s what they don’t know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, I’d join the Tea Party. ↗

— Bill Maher

#evolution #humor #miss-usa #new-rule #political-humor

Her sculptured face was as perfect as a painting. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor #beauty

To my taste, the men in Rome are ridiculously, hurtfully, stupidly beautiful. More beautiful even than Roman women, to be honest. Italian men are beautiful in the same way as French women, which is to say-- no detail spared in the quest for perfection. They’re like show poodles. Sometimes they look so good I want to applaud. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#beauty

I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick. ↗

— Libba Bray

#bikini-wax #funny #girl #girls #girly

A peace washed over me when I knew God had marked me as HIS crazy person. ↗

— Jana Riess

#inspirational

She had perfect features, with her eye, nose, lips, and ears the right size and in right places. That is all it takes to make people beautiful, normal body parts – yet why does nature mess it up so many times? ↗

— Chetan Bhagat

#beauty

He plants his feet stubbornly, adopting what he must think is an heroic post. He's just begging for a pigeon to fly by and relieve itself. ↗

— Libba Bray

#beauty

She's always getting into trouble because she gets bored really really easily. [...] My mum says it's because Celia has an attention span the size of a sesame seed. Celia's mum says it's because Celia's identity is unfurling itself slowly, like a tulip bud, and it's a breathtakingly beautiful thing to see. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#getting-into-trouble #humor #humour #hyperactivity #beauty

You lie, in faith; for you are call'd plain Kate, And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst; But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate, Take this of me, Kate of my consolation; Hearing thy mildness praised in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#beauty