#humor

However, displayed right alongside all the Confederate flag paraphernalia is a bunch of American flag merch – American flag place mats, patriotic “body crystals,” flag stickers you attach to your skin. Personally, I’m small-minded and literal enough that I see the two symbols as contradictory, especially in a time of war. But I fear that the consumer who buys a Confederate flag coffee cup, which she will then put on her American flag place mat, is the sort of sophisticated thinker who is open-minded enough that she is capable of hating blacks and Arabs at the same time. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#humor

When you can carry five full dinner platters on your left arm, you should be able to vote, even if you're not eighteen. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #mountains #mustache #mustaches

It's okay to be sad. Everyone gets sad now and then. Even me. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#life #humor

I thought about telling him the truth: 'Oh, nothing. Just having my soul exorcised so I can roam around purgatory, looking for the ghost of the dead cowboy who used to live in my bedroom. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

I hate to say it, but it can’t be much of a dark conspiracy if a trio of first-year shlubs like us have worked it all out. ↗

— G. Norman Lippert

#humor

So basically your plan is to flail about helplessly. ↗

— Harlan Coben

#humor

There are no great fanfares for the truly great moments of your life. Just dripping taps and the sound of your own footsteps, walking from one room into another ↗

— Kathleen Tessaro

#life #humor

And so Harry became proficient in the task of cleaning up vomit. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #skills #humor

Tears are scientifically described as a Secretion. I can understand that a secretion may be healthy or unhealthy, but I cannot see the interest of a secretion from a sentimental point of view. ↗

— Wilkie Collins

#humor