#humor

This phone," he says finally. "I want this phone." She laughs. "No. S'mine." Janie, I don't think you understand. I want it." Sorry." It's got photo caller ID; Internet; video, camera, and digital recorder?! Holy Hannah... It's making me warm all over." Oh yeah?" Janie says in a sexy voice. "Wanna play with my phone, baby?" Hell yes, I do. ↗

— Lisa McMann

#dreams

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Give a hippie too much money and anything can happen. ↗

— Neil Young

#money #sarcasm-humor #dreams

You're not pathetic," she growled. "You're not worthless. But you are hurt. Maybe even a little confused and probably a lot of deranged, but not pathetic." "Deranged?" "Well, you did barge into hell to save a woman who was dumb enough to get caught. . . how many times now? Personally I wouldn't have saved me after the first time. That to me says you're deranged. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#dreams

You have her father's love, Demetrius; Let me have Hermia's: do you marry him. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#love #lysander #dreams

After a dream like that, you're grateful that it was just a dream, that no matter how bad your actual life, it couldn't be worse than your dream life. ↗

— Brock Clarke

#philosophy #dreams

I shan't make a fuss over the babe's father. ↗

— Mary E. Pearson

#humor #dreams

I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were the world’s best ventriloquist. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night. We went to the store cupboard to make out, but we ended up sharing our pain and then crying together. We wasn't prepared for this level of intimacy. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships