#humorous

Didn't anyone tell you that size doesn't matter?" "Yes, but I told him to put his pants back on and go home. ↗

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on his mouth. Name. He wanted her name. She had to think about it for a second before she remembered. Great. She must have hit her head. Which, duh, explained the headache. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#sleeping-in #humor

You know, there are several gay men on the faculty. Professor Montag makes jelly beans look colorless(...) ↗

— Tara Lain

#gender-stereotypes #homosexuality #humorous #humor

Aw, come on, admit it—you feel like Cinderella, don’t you?” “No, Darren, I don’t. And do you know why?” “No, sugar, you tell me why.” “Because I’m a man. I’ve got a big fat one and I like to fuck other guys.” Darren was laughing over the phone now, and it made Reece grin. “And Ben isn’t a prince, he’s a cop. A big, sexy cop who fucks like a machine. He’s a man. I’m a man. We’re men.” He nodded sharply. “Now fuck off. I’m arranging flowers. ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#humor

Who’d have thought your screwball brother could have gone so serial-killer fucktwat insane? ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor

You learn to smile even in you liver?' 'Even in my lire, Ketut. Big smile in my liver. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#humor

Yep, ouch. He and apologies didn’t get along. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor

Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid. ↗