#humorous

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt? ↗

— Daniel Marks

#humorous-quotations #sarcasm #humor

SHUT UP!...PADDLE! ↗

— Ridley Pearson

#humor

When a guy says,'I'll call you,' and he doesn't say when-that means he won't call you." Kit pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed a couple buttons. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I fished it out, smiling. "Madness," Kit whispered softly into his phone. "I meant I'd call you. This is me calling you. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor

...as nervous as a bird in a coal mine. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor

Shock and desire have my nerves tingling like I've been struck by horny lightning. ↗

— Nicole Christie

#humorous #humor

There is a tale...It tells of the days when a blight hung over our land. Nothing prospered. Nothing flourished. Not even zucchini would grow. ↗

— Cameron Dokey

#humorous #humor

When does he ever think?" Richard straddled a chair and accepted a wind cup from Raoul. "If he were to sell his brain, he could claim it had never been used.", Chapter 7 ↗

— Sharon Kay Penman

#humor

Leandros's favorite place had turned out not to be vegetarian, but vegan, which was for people who preferred their suicide slow. ↗

— Rob Thurman

#humor

This country would get along much better if people learned how to suffer in silence. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor