#humorous

Oh God, my stomach must have won a medal- it's doing a lap of honour now. ↗

— Ali McNamara

#love-story #humor

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay. ↗

— Chris Kyle

#american #bush #caffeine #coffee #humor

Try again. No no no, eyes up, eyes up! When you bow to someone you look at them, not at the floor. Don't look at her in the eye though lad, that's rude. And not THERE, either. ↗

— Stephen Deas

#humor

Life plots elegantly. ↗

— Alice Randall

#humor

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#quotes #humor

It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft. ↗

— Brent Weeks

#humor

[Mrs. Allen was] never satisfied with the day unless she spent the chief of it by the side of Mrs. Thorpe, in what they called conversation, but in which there was scarcely ever any exchange of opinion, and not often any resemblance of subject, for Mrs. Thorpe talked chiefly of her children, and Mrs. Allen of her gowns. ↗

— Jane Austen

#humor

There is, after all, no pleasure like that given by a woman who really wants to see you. ↗

— Anthony Powell

#insightful #poignant #humor

He pulled out a dagger from ... she wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy's thoughts, The Witching Pen) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#dianna-hardy #humor #humorous #paranormal-romance #the-witching-pen