#humorous

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. ↗

— Candace C. Bowen

#humor-quotes #humorous-quotes #quotes #sarcastic-quotes #witty-quotes

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so. ↗

— Victor Borge

#funny #humor #humorous #requests #victor

Listen. Just because we got a mutual hankering, doesn't mean we have to act on it. Aside from the hankering, there isn't much about you that I like. So far, you've been a pain in the behind. And I might as well tell you, I've followed through on one hankering and getting shot was more of an enjoyable experience. I didn't like it. ↗

— Maggie Osborne

#humorous #romance #experience

The better organized the state, the duller its humanity. ↗

— David Mitchell

#philosophy #humor

I know that not all my readers like my digressions, but the research that has been done on Caenorhabditis elegans is such a ringing triumph of science that you aren't going to stop me. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#science #science

By the standards of a tourist strolling past looking for a quick lunch, the place was a dive. The sign on the window was small and easy to miss, and the antique feel of the place wasn't the prepackaged, old-shit-on-the-wall nostalgia that came with so many chain restaurants. The cafe was just old, and everything about it said old. But Jon liked it that way, if only because it kept the tourists away and spared him from hearing imported ignorance when there was plenty of local ignorance to go around. ↗

— Scott B. Pruden

#humorous-quotes #immaculate-deception #satire #science-fiction #science-fiction-comedy

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded? ↗

— Victor Borge

#funny #humor #humorous #sneeze #victor

I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.' He grunted. 'Like I've never heard that before. Funny, but I expected a little more originality from Moira's daughter.' 'Yeah, well, the dog ate my notebook with all my good excuses. ↗

— Mindee Arnett

#funny #humorous #quote #funny

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit." -Ty Henderson ↗

— Madeleine Urban

#humorous-quotations #shit #squirrel #funny

I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying . . . and God knowing should count for something. ↗

— Karen E. Quinones Miller

#inspirational-quotes #humor