#humorous

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

Holy paranormal activity, Nightingale - to the Jag mobile. ↗

— Ben Aaronovitch

#humor

Don't ignore me. I only get more annoying. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

Two fairies were sleeping peacefully on his bed. Dinnie was immediately depressed. He knew that he did not have enough money to see a therapist. ↗

— Martin Millar

#humor

I had refused Emerson's well-meant offers of assistance, knowing his efforts would be confined to moving the furniture to the wrong places and demanding how much longer the process would take. ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#humor

He swallowed. “Have you no modesty?” Never in his life had he encountered a female so quick to be naked. Of course, he’d never in his life encountered a female who should so utterly be naked at any chance. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#flirty #humor #humorous #humor

Clary turned instant traitor against her gender. "Those girls on the other side of the car are staring at you." Jace assumed an air of mellow gratification. "Of course they are," he said. "I am stunningly attractive." "Haven't you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?" "Only from ugly people," Jace confided. "The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants. ↗

— Evangeline Anderson

#humorous #romance #science-fiction-romance #humor

Jack might look my age, but he was like a little kid on a sugar high --- in need of a good spanking. --- Good heavens, that sounded creepy. ↗

— Kiersten White

#humorous #jack #age

I want you back here now. I want you next to me now. I cannot believe that my family, your brother, all our friends, and an entire police force can't keep tabs on one twenty-six year old graphic designer who thinks he's fuckin' Batman. --Detective Sam Kage in A Matter Of Time (vol 2 or part 4) ↗

— Mary Calmes

#design