#humorous

This has always bothered me. If "Change" is the only constant how can we have absolutes? ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#change

Even if you haven't had the exclusivity conversation, they're still going to be mad if they find out you're dating someone they know and you haven't mentioned it. It's a dating rule." "Well, how am I supposed to know that rule?" "Everyone knows that rule." "I thought you were supposed to be on my side." "I am on your side! ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#dating

Oh my God! You little slut! You want to have a good date with him and want to have ten thousand of his little baseball babies! Cassie!!! ↗

— J. Sterling

#humorous-quotations #dating

My father had bought him a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter.  In a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my shotgun? ↗

— Tara Sivec

#dating

Yea though I walk through the Valley of Death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the baddest M-F in the valley. ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#death

[Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. ↗

— Dave Courtney

#death

Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-but-true #funny-quotes #humor #humorous #diet

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#humorous-quotes #diet

When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#exercises #humorous-quotes #diet

Chip did not believe in having a shock drawer or a T-shirt drawer. He believed that all drawers were created equal and each with whatever fit. ↗

— John Green

#equality