#humorous

I don't get why prom is like a mini-wedding these days...No one should spend that kind of money for a high school dance. ↗

— Deb Caletti

#humor

You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense? ↗

— Derek Landy

#arrested #humor #humorous #rights #humor

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous #people #humor

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-storm-of-swords #game-of-thrones #humor #humorous-quotes #jaime-lannister

But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake. ↗

— Derek Landy

#crossword-puzzles #humor #humorous #laziness #retirement

They're a little strange, but I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humor

Eww," Jack said, and then giggled. "Yeah, and a Paris Hilton doll that had an optional brain."Aphrodite raised her brow at him. "Don't go all crazy. There are some things even Paris Hilton can't buy. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#humor

‎"If you want that kind of thing, call Nick. His advice is shit, but he really likes to give it. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one. ↗

— John Kennedy Toole

#ignatious-j-reilly #new-orleans #humor

Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened? ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-philosophy #humorous-quotations #humor