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#humorous

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humorous




Darcy’s hand suddenly rammed angrily into a bowl of fruit and grasped an innocent, unsuspecting orange. “Enough. The woman is demented. Our marriage is simply something to which she must become adjusted. She insulted Elizabeth and her family, and in so doing, she insulted me.” With an expression as black as pitch, Darcy commenced to vivisecting the orange. By the time he finished with said orange, it was completely dead, thoroughly dead, with no semblance remaining of its prior orange existence.


Karen V. Wasylowski


#family

Being a monk was the strangest and most perverted way of life imaginable. Monks spent half their lives putting themselves through pain and discomfort that they could easily avoid, and the other half muttering meaningless mumbo jumbo in empty churches at all hours of the day and night. They deliberately shunned anything good—girls, sports, feasting and family life.


Ken Follett


#monks #religious-practices #family

I mumble my vows, Shad mutters his, and I wonder what would happen if I lunged for the door like a wild animal seeking its freedom. I could probably outrun his one-legged friend, but Shad has something of the greyhound about him.


Janet Mullany


#freedom

Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won’t sparkle in the sunshine, he’ll just marry you.


Nick Shamhart


#humor #humorous #funny

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.


Terry Pratchett


#humor #humorous #ironic #irony #funny

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.


Carroll Bryant


#funny-but-true #humor #humorous #humorous-quotes #funny

I never said nothing..." "I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!


Terry Pratchett


#humor #humorous #funny

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?


Carroll Bryant


#funny-humor #funny-satire #humor #humorist #humorous

And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?


Christopher Moore


#humor

Talk about insanity. Being attracted to deVries was like a month saying, "Hey, let's go check out that awesome bonfire".


Cherise Sinclair


#humor






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