#humorous

She ran out of her marriage the way a woman can run out of a pair of sandals when she decides to let go and really dash. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor

My motto is: Frequently appalled but seldom surprised. ↗

— Jan Geddes

#inspirational #humor

And I'll wash your other clothes. Shall I also order you a new set of leathers?" "Don't-" Wrath shut his mouth. "Sure. That'd be great. And, ah, could you get me some boxers? Black? XXL? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

I didn't do it,' he insisted. 'Then why did you run?' Sabrina asked. 'And send rabbits to eat us! I'm a seven-year-old girl,' Daphne said. 'Do you know how important bunny rabbits are to me? ↗

— Michael Buckley

#humor

He swallowed. “Have you no modesty?” Never in his life had he encountered a female so quick to be naked. Of course, he’d never in his life encountered a female who should so utterly be naked at any chance. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#flirty #humor #humorous #humor

Clary turned instant traitor against her gender. "Those girls on the other side of the car are staring at you." Jace assumed an air of mellow gratification. "Of course they are," he said. "I am stunningly attractive." "Haven't you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?" "Only from ugly people," Jace confided. "The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants. ↗

— Evangeline Anderson

#humorous #romance #science-fiction-romance #humor

Jack might look my age, but he was like a little kid on a sugar high --- in need of a good spanking. --- Good heavens, that sounded creepy. ↗

— Kiersten White

#humorous #jack #age

Bad artists always admire each others work. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me. Ella: If you think you can do it without getting lost. ↗

— Melissa Lemon

#humorous #melissa-lemon #romantic #smartass #business