#humorous

The last time I was this confused I was watching a Fassbinder film. ↗

— Ken O'Neill

#humor #humorous-book #marriage #marriage-equality #equality

There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#humor

In my family nudity just doesn’t exist; I’m pretty sure my parents were both born fully clothed and still shower that way. ↗

— Huston Piner

#lgbt #romance #ya #young-adult #family

I mumble my vows, Shad mutters his, and I wonder what would happen if I lunged for the door like a wild animal seeking its freedom. I could probably outrun his one-legged friend, but Shad has something of the greyhound about him. ↗

— Janet Mullany

#freedom

Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won’t sparkle in the sunshine, he’ll just marry you. ↗

— Nick Shamhart

#humor #humorous #funny

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humorous #ironic #irony #funny

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-but-true #humor #humorous #humorous-quotes #funny

I never said nothing..." "I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humorous #funny

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-humor #funny-satire #humor #humorist #humorous

There were, however, a few exceptions. One was Norma Dodsworth, the poet, who had not unpleasantly drunk but had been sensible enough to pass out before any violent action proved necessary. He had been deposited, not very gently, on the lawn, where it was hoped that a hyena would give him a rude awakening. For all practical purposes he could, therefore, be regarded as absent. ↗

— Arthur C. Clarke

#drink #drunk #funny #humorous #funny