#humour

Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens. ↗

— Cracked.com

#humour #science #science

People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#practicality #proverbs #wise

Julia's unhappy relationship with the Inland Revenue was due to her omission, during four years of modestly successful practice at the Bar, to pay any income tax. The truth is, I think, that she did not, in her heart of hearts, really believe in income tax. It was a subject which she had studied for examinations and on which she had thereafter advised a number of clients: she naturally did not suppose, in these circumstances, that it had anything to do with real life. ↗

— Sarah Caudwell

#taxes #life

John Brooke is acting dreadfully, and Meg likes it! ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#romance #louisa-may-alcott

Seniors get to do all the jolly things," Owen complained as they walked to archery practice that first day. Neal glared at the chubby second-year with all the royal disdain of a vexed lion. He was limping from a staff blow to the knee. "You are a bloody minded-savage," he informed Owen sternly. "I hope you are kidnapped by centaurs. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#neal #owen #information

Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#humour #humor

No body told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humour #talking-about-love #love

Do you remember what we just did? Please tell me you remember what we just did." She briefly toyed with the idea of lying and saying no, just to see the look on his face, but she'd had enough of having her brain played with – it wouldn't be too sporting to do the same to him. "Yes, I remember, and don't you think for one minute that just because you had me on my back screaming I was 'yours'," she waved four fingers in quotation marks in front of his face, "that it gives you any kind of ownership over me, because it doesn't." He looked annoyed, then relieved, then he laughed. "Yeah, whatever, baby. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humour #making-love #memory #ownership #pueblo-and-amy

There's always a 'but' when it comes to jobs. Like, I love my job but my colleagues are first-rate, but...a couple of them like to dress like superheroes on the weekend and I can't help but wonder if they're nuts." - Logan ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#logan #the-lucky-one #love

I need some space." "Because of my past?" "No, because of mine. When I'm around you I feel like I'm falling. I need to stop before I smash into the ground." "Are you always so honest?" "No. Mostly I'm a liar like you. ↗

— Anna McPartlin

#falling-in-love #humour #lies #love