#humour

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster. ↗

— Noelle Oxenhandler

#humour #life #melancholy #the-art-of-wishing #truth

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour. ↗

— Adrian Edmondson

#ages #good #humour #i #people

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag. ↗

— Adrian Edmondson

#beneath #childish #doubting #effectiveness #gag

Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch. ↗

— Cyndi Lauper

#could #die #get #getting #great

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations. ↗

— Paul Merton

#books #comedy #generations #history #humour

Okay, babe, I'm here.” The front door smashed opened, slamming against the wall—the man didn't know how to turn a knob? ↗

— Christy Reece

#romance #romantic-suspense #romantic

I was worried people would laugh at me when I started to talk the language, but they were just pleasantly surprised that I could. The sense of humour here is great - once I could have a giggle, I settled down. ↗

— Parminder Nagra

#down #giggle #great #here #humour

If you find yourself suddenly mated to a werewolf, whatever you do, don't panic. Simply turn to Jen for assistance and she will give you a cool acronym to call him…because that's just so important." -Sally ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#funny #humourous-situations #sally #funny

All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house you were moving out from. I could practically hear Mr Collins, who had taught my fifth-grade English class and was still the most intimidating teacher I'd ever had, yelling at me. "Amy Curry," I could still hear him intoning, "never end a sentence with a preposition!" Irked that after six hears he was still mentally correcting me, I told the Mr. Collins in my head to off fuck. ↗

— Morgan Matson

#books #funny #humour #funny