#humour

Achieve everything and fail at the rest ↗

Just then Trafton walked up to the four of us. "I can see this is a little gang on campus" said Trafton "How do I join?" "Dial 1800 - not on your life and see how that works out for you," said Lisabelle Tafton smiled at her "I know that behind that harsh exterior you have a kind and gentle soul." "No" said Lisabelle "I really don't. I'm pretty much always this unpleasant with the desired result of being left alone. Why am I not being left alone? ↗

— "Elemental Rising" by Maddy Edwards

#life

Colorful characters are the odd shaped pieces that fill the holes in life's puzzle. ↗

— Richard Stephens

#humour #mystery #romance #life

Good people left me breathless and wondering. How had they got that way? How good were they, anyway? How would it feel to be good? Then I hit middle age and suddenly I wanted to be a better person and to know that I was living a good life. ↗

— Judith O'Reilly

#humour #inspirational #middle-age #resolution #age

Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn't. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#love #romance #love

The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off. A dog's wet nose is not strictly speaking the worst of the bunch, but it has it's own peculiar dreadfulness which connoisseurs of the ghastly and dog owners everywhere have come to know and dread. It's like having a small piece of defrosting liver pressed lovingly against you. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humour #love

Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#perspective #stories #love

Oh, I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time! ↗

— Drew Barrymore

#dumb #humour #love

I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #love #skulduggery-pleasant #love

I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them OFF that makes me better than you. ↗