#humour

He had them as spellbound as a room full of Ewoks listening to C-3PO. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#humour #robots #scifi #spellbinding #star-wars

[Kendra] also referred to Tizoc Theron, one of the most powerful mercenaries in all of vampiric existence, as her "Tizzy". The Inquisition was "a dreadful inconvenience," World War II was "a little spat" and the fall of Midnight, the vampiric empire that had reigned for centurie, was "an unfortunate event. ↗

— Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

#world-war-ii

She now represents the Western United States, thus proving politics is even more accepting of the strange, unusual, and mostly useless than the music industry. ↗

— John Zakour

#humour #politics #music

Playing an instrument is its own reward. Cleaning out a spit valve is its own punishment. ↗

— Peter James West

#humour #music #musician #music

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions. After eggs and bacon it says, "Work!" After beefsteak and porter, it says, "Sleep!" After a cup of tea (two spoonfuls for each cup, and don't let it stand for more than three minutes), it says to the brain, "Now rise, and show your strength. Be eloquent, and deep, and tender; see, with a clear eye, into Nature, and into life: spread your white wings of quivering thought, and soar, a god-like spirit, over the whirling world beneath you, up through long lanes of flaming stars to the gates of eternity! ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#life

Soul: As a cool guy, I'm used to seeing naked women. Blair: That explains the nosebleed ↗

— Atsushi Ohkubo

#manga #soul-eater #manga

Well, Arminius, I can’t say you’re the most natural horseman I’ve ever seen.’ Arminius sneered down at the men standing around him, then leaned out of the saddle and put a sausage sized finger in Double-Pay Silus’s face. ‘Just so we’re clear, I hate horses. Tribune Scaurus says I ride like a mule tender with bleeding piles, and that I have all the skill in the saddle of a sack full of shit. And despite that, before you open your mouth, I’m one of your thirty-one horsemen and that’s official. You don’t like it, I don’t like it, but the tribune couldn’t give a toss what either of us think. Wherever Centurion Corvus goes, I go. So there it is. ↗

— Anthony Riches

#humour #soldiers #men

But in every church there are people who, for reasons which seem sufficient to them, do not approve of their pastor and seek to harry him and bully him into some condition pleasing to themselves. The democracy which the Reformation brought into the Christian Church rages in their bosoms like a fire; they would deny that they regard their clergyman as their spiritual hired hand, whom they boss and oversee for his own good, but that is certainly the impression they give to observers. ↗

— Robertson Davies

#humour #religion #religion

He, Cromwell, says to his visitors, just tell them this, and tell them loud: to each monk, one bed: to each bed, one monk. Is that so hard for them? ↗

— Hilary Mantel

#religion #religion

Look!" Hawkeye said. Duke looked where Hawkeye was pointing. In one corner, kneeling on the dirt floor with his elbows on his cot, a Bible in front of him, his lips moving slowly, and oblivious to all about him, was Major Jonathan Hobson. "Jesus," Hawkeye said. "It don't look like Him," Duke said. ↗

— Richard Hooker

#humour #religion #religion