#ian

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey." "Karl, we're not fourteen!" "Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey." (Karl & Elena) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music. Fascinating reading. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #music #musicians #reading #humor

PS: I also note that you included the Stalker's Anthem, "Every Breath You Take." I do enjoy your sense of humor, but does Dr. Flynn know? ↗

— E.L. James

#christian-grey #humor

I couldn't take much more of this. Being the object two men competed for wasn't as glamorous as it sounded in the movies. The two men who both wanted one hundred percent of my time weren't dashing, international playboys. They were undead and surprisingly immature, considering the youngest was just over a hundred years old. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love-triangle #men-and-women #relationships #humor

Despite the fact that an Indonesian island chicken has probably had a much more natural life than one raised on a battery farm in England, people who wouldn't think twice about buying something oven-ready become much more upset about a chicken that they've been on a boat with, so there is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#ethics #humor #vegetarian #vegetarianism #humor

The Fundamentalist Christians have told me that I am a slave of Satan and should have my demons expelled with an exorcism. The Fundamentalist Materialists inform me that I am a liar, charlatan, fraud and scoundrel. Aside from this minor difference, the letters are astoundingly similar. Both groups share the same crusading zeal and the same lack of humor, charity and common human decency. These intolerable cults have served to confirm me in my agnosticism by presenting further evidence to support my contention that when dogma enters the brain, all intellectual activity ceases. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#christianity #humor #humor

In every possible instance Saint Paul begged Christians to restrain themselves to contain their carnal yearnings to live solitary and sexless lives on earth as it is in heaven. "But if they cannot contain " Paul finally conceded then "let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn." Which is perhaps the most begrudging endorsement of matrimony in human history. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#corinthians #humor #marriage #st-paul #humor

The day my child tries a celery is the most stressful day of my life. ↗

— Ariana Grande

#funny #humor #laugh #funny

I can't believe you said that about fire ants and thunderstorms! You are such a Houstonist! ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#humor #humor

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa. ↗

— Ricky Gervais

#christianity #comedy #humor #humour #rationality