#lan

What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #language #humor

Love doesna always mean burning flashes o' passion. Sometimes, it's jus' the warmth o' yer hearts as they beat yer day together." ~Old Woman Nora to her three wee granddaughters on a cold winter's night. ↗

— Karen Hawkins

#old-woman-nora #scotland #love

Lord help the female population if Kellan and I have a boy one day. ↗

— S.C. Stephens

#kellan-kyle #kiera #love #humor

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed! ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#language #humor

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-storm-of-swords #game-of-thrones #humor #humorous-quotes #jaime-lannister

I thought I recognized you." Really? He remembered me looking like Swamp Thing? How flattering. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#josh-lanyon #humor

Cara waggled a hand over the two of them. "It works better with your clothes off." Richard frowned. His voice came as a hoarse croak. "What?" She seemed mystified by the question. "I believe you will find such things work better without clothes." She put her hands to her hips. "I thought you would know at least that much. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#clothes #humor #kahlan #richard #sex

Cara burst into a hearty laugh. She clapped Richard on the back as he walked passed. "I like her, Lord Rahl. You may keep her. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #kahlan #richard #humor

Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #milton-keynes #humor

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #humor #random